Compassion Over Judgement
This certain Old Man, do you know what he did?
He told all the participants how he is with children my age, how he is honorable but guess what I have seen him behave openly flirtaciously with some of the married women but I am sure they handled him maturely. For me I was still in my teens and that was how I knew best how to handle it. The young girls did not say any thing, so it was my word against his. And I think the elderly women believed him because no one said anything against his behavior, to the best of my knowledge. After that event each time I entered the class I felt antagonized.
Later on, one of my sisters there said, ‘the man has asked us not to give you his hand out, he also said he won’t give you his certificate and if any one went against him he will lay a curse on them’. So I didn’t push not to get them in trouble, although I remember my mum mentioning one of the mother’s insisted and collected it, but I was not interested in his certificate again, so I refused to go for it.
I told my parents, my Dad was upset I continued going. Well my mum being the “let there be peace” kind of mother said I should try since there were others there to protect me and what will people say.
“My word against his”. I am sure alot of girls will tell you they have hard at least once or many times this same words. Even when people can testify something does not add up about an abuser’s character.
I have prayed and forgiven him. Will Mama even allow me rest, she will always check up on our forgiveness and good nature. But what helped was that my family believed me. They sat me down and said they believed me and I did nothing wrong. He is the adult, he is suppose to be the responsible one……
Seriously some times I wonder why I have not hard his name any where in the books of history and how come no entourage has entered Zuru to take him back to his home town? What that old man didn’t know was that every Kobo paid for that aqusition was prayed for and believed for by faith. My parents are teachers. Dad a teach and farmer, Mum a teacher and trader. My mother paid for the form because Dad needed to take care of church family, he has a small congregation. So she made five naira profit at that time for every bag of pure water, she made 35 naira for a crate of soft drink, that was how she raised the money. That was how she supported her family. That was how they sent us to great schools, where we were oportuned to school with the children of the people that mattered in this country. Super proud of them, that’s why Mama should have been here but all praise to God.
Education, information, enlightenment and self defense studies will go along way in curtailing sexual based violence and harassment. We could also listen, yes people lie but give a complainant the benefit of doubt untill proven other wise……
This is one of the reasons I wanted to be a lawyer and I am sure the reason why God gave me a much better gift of reconciliation and love.
Some how I have come across such old men, there is also this one that gave me hell at the ministry of education when i got admission to go to Malaysia for studies not because I want to go out, but because I couldn’t get admission in a Nigerian university…that story is coming soon and the lessons I learnt. Hmmm that man, it took me awhile to stop vomiting each time I remember him, I even had nightmares, yes I use to be quilty of hate…
Please I just don’t speak or write because “I want to be” there is a purposeful pain, lessons and joy behind my words. I seek to be better, but what good are my experiences if someone I know goes through same with out a word of caution?
We all have a role to play. Believe, listen, repent and pray. Mother’s in Zion need to wake up. A girl suddenly changes, she has become unruly, that is not the time to gossip and lament on what the devil is doing, yes the devil, he comes after children, he tries to break and reduce them to sin. Face him take back your children. God did not give u an unruly child why agree with the devil. Instead of sending that promiscuous little girl or boy out of the church, why not love on them, why not show compassion instead of accusing a fellow mother of not training her child. The child is still for everyone don’t mind this wicked generation. God’s expectations is for you to mother generations.
Wake up see what the evil one is doing………let me keep quiet for a bit…..
Compassion over judgement.
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