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My 53 Days at the Psych Ward

Last year was full of ups and downs and especially being in the hospital, standing by my family for different reasons. We could stand in our heads to argue for eternity what is more painful and what is not or we could take responsibility for our motives, actions, and inactions that have brought so much pain to others. If one thing I have changed, I see the human tendencies for what it is, it’s their capability of becoming wicked, selfish, and generously greedy. I also got to know affection, true love, and selflessness and most importantly where to place each.

I work in love, and I make decisions out of love but it is also such a God Kind of love to know when to let go, to let the individuals be what they want to be in this short cycle of life. I listen more than I speak now because it might just be the last time I have the chance to hear what people cannot say repeatedly because of the fear of rejection, betrayal, and hatred. I am not surprised or unaware of evil but I have chosen to see it as a part of reality for a lot of people, they thrive and exude evil.

Insecurities, depression, and anxiety don’t just fall into people’s lives, other humans from what we go through from childhood to adulthood inflicted them on us and expects us to without some kind of spiritual and medical intervention to overcome them. It is interesting to hear people judge what they have no clue about. So, my mind wonders through and I remembered you Faithy, I will take a stroll down the emergency ward, where we said our goodbyes and pray in tears, “no more Lord, help me, help her.”

Depression doesn’t just affect the Muslim but also the born-again Christian, not just the poor but the mighty rich, not just an adult but a child, and not just the weak but the strong. Unhealed trauma can bring about depression, and triggers such as abusive interactions and manipulative instigation can make a human suicidal, unable to eat or sleep, and deliriously in pain for a long time. Others have tried to get rid of depression by using hard drugs or simply alcohol, sex, or caffeine others also have an excessive intake of food there is nothing out of the world about it, they just need professionals to speak with them and help them face the truth and make a decision what to do with it.

It is not normal to continually cheat or break a promise and expect gratitude. If you do that you are not normal please see a doctor. It is not okay to insult, downgrade body shame, and put people in excruciating mental pain because you can.

A woman in the psychiatric ward just wanted a divorce, her misery had started because she has not been able to have a child for 20 years, and her husband has taken a second wife. She loves her husband but her soul has had it, scorns and the eager wait of a child’s suckle on her tits. She wants a way of escape, she stops eating or sleeping and everyone keeps judging and critiquing instead of listening to her, they even tie her to a tree.

Another woman carried a pregnancy for 9 months but in the end no child, she goes into depression but we tell her to swallow it and be strong she is not the only woman who has lost a child losing a child however has been easy for a woman, she is unable to stop crying and instead of taking her to a professional we say be strong, why are you behaving as if you are not a woman, as if the pain was natural as if we don’t all long to be loved unconditionally and patiently without judgment or hurt.

A boy keeps failing his exams, feels shame, and drops out, he picks on drugs, clubbing, etc. when he tried to speak we shut him up, you be a man! We call out his parents instead with judgments. I watched with compassion how his mother kept speaking into his life, even when he cried out about being worthless and wanting to die, she and faith were unrelenting, tears she stood by him through an Electroconvulsive therapy (ECT) through excruciating but sure to heal. She reminded me of my mother and her constant need to be compassionate and understanding. I cried not because I had no hope I cried because we are all suffering from the love we so need but refuse to give.

I also witness a wonder of a man, taking care of his depressed wife, he would bring food, or whatever she wished for. He does not look educated. He sits watching her from a distance, it was the love and compassion in his action that I admired and found myself praying for deliverance so he takes her back home, healed.

Good doctors are a miracle, medicine is one of the graces of God upon our lives, and the risks they take and how precious a gift they are to humanity cannot be overemphasized. As soon as healing started I watched how frightened, the traumatized individual becomes their beautiful, hopeful, and loving self. I was privileged to watch in tears their pain and share in the laugh of victories, of overcoming their thoughts and your words, as they thrive into a gradual process of wholesomeness.

Today I challenge us, to become what we need and we will have also what we desire. So thank you for believing, praying, and supporting. I know there is no situation too difficult for God to turn over for your good. People’s talk will fall to the ground and die and they will reap what they sow but as for you, stay in faith, hope in love, and thrive like you have God living inside of you. I love you and believe in you.❤️